Report: Howard likes Clippers, Heat. Please make this stop.

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Another day, another report that the Orlando Magic are leaning heavily toward keeping Dwight Howard in their camp and trying to convince him to stay. This time it’s in a series of tweets of from Chris Mannix of Sports Illustrated we hear that Dwight is staying and that he still has no interest in going to the Bulls. Which makes no sense, but there you go.

Mannix goes on to say Howard wanted to move via free agency anyway because he didn’t want to go to a team that was gutted to make way for him. So, he learned a lesson watching Carmelo Anthony. Great.

Then came this zinger at the end.

Two teams sources say tell SI Howard will have interest in: Clippers and Miami. There are cap issues, but the interest is real.

Ugh.

Howard wants to go to the Heat or Clippers? I want to do nothing but drink beer and eat ice cream and still get a body like Brad Pitt. That’s not how it works. No way either of those teams get him. Let me try to explain this:

Miami has $78 million committed in salary for next season, which will be roughly $20 million over the yet-to-be-finalized salary cap. The Heat cannot sign Howard to anything more than a mini-mid level exception next season of $2.5 million. No, they cannot just amnesty Chris Bosh and sign him — amnesty Bosh and you are still a few million over the salary cap, there is no realistic way to get $15 million or more below it. The Clippers are over the cap next year too and have massive extensions for Blake Griffin and Chris Paul coming.

Those teams — and most teams — could only get Howard via a sign-and-trade and neither the Clippers or Heat will give up the pieces the Magic will want (meaning Blake Griffin).

Who has cap space to sign him as a free agent? Indiana, New Jersey/Brooklyn, Dallas. This is not going to be LeBron James like because a lot of teams cleared out cap space for that race, not so much for this one.

I cannot wait for this Howard lunacy to end.