Kings claim Travis Outlaw off the amnesty wire: a story in 15 sentences.

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The following is a sentence-by-sentence explanation of a basketball transaction. Please forgive the one-line paragraphs in pursuit of novelty.

The Kings today grabbed Travis Outlaw off the amnesty wire.

Outlaw was not very good for the Nets last year, that’s why they used the amnesty clause on him.

In fact, he was so bad he had an 8.8 PER last year, which is nearly half the average for any player.

So why did the Kings acquire him, then?

Because it was cheap, and they had a hole at backup small forward, and it worked out that way.

As part of the amnesty process, the Kings simply had to bid when no one else did, or at least bid more than any other team, and take on a small portion of his remaining salary.

This is what many people call “bargain shopping.”

It’s very similar to the way my wife will come home with something that was once pristine but now has a gaping hole in it, a massive scratch, or a large dent, and then say “Look at the deal I got!”

Thing is, though, one of those objects still exists as my entertainment center.

TV hasn’t fallen yet, knock on wood.

Not that wood, because it’ll splinter and my TV will fall and I’ll have to punch you, but still, you get my point.

This is the holiday season, a time for forgiving, so maybe the is a chance for Outlaw to get a second chance.

After all, he was pretty good in Portland for a while.

Maybe it’s a time zone thing.

In conclusion, Iman Shumpert.