Stern responds to allegations he’s not bluffing by saying he’s not bluffing

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In the midst of this fantastically stupid game of chicken being played by the NBA and NBPA, the result of which will be a colossal train wreck resulting in massive damage to major economic entity, the loss of hundreds of jobs, and irreparable damage to the sport of professional basketball, right in the center stands the idea of “Stern’s Bluff.”

When Stern threatened to drop to the cap reset this past Wednesday at 5 p.m. without a deal, the deadline passed without a single plague, fire, earthquake, or cat-and-dog domestic union. So that was one bluff that didn’t go through, though you could take Stern’s side and say they “stopped the clock” or whatever. Now with the same threat looming over the current offer, the league has rattled its sabre about the incoming missile attack of 47 percent and a flex cap. The agents, because they’re agents and live to beat the other guy and not actually make a deal and who have substantially longer-term priorities than the career-spans of their current clients, do not believe him.

That’s what decert comes down to. No one actually believes decertification is an option. No one believes this strategy will work, because even if the players were to get a favorable ruling outright, then have the court recommend an injunction of the current lockout, and then get the appellate court to stay the injunction during the appeals proceedings, then have the initial ruling upheld by a significantly pro-NBA district court and so on up…. it would take too long to get that process through in order for it to be worth it to either side and either one caves or the other or the league dies. But the threat is supposed to get the league off its hard line, blow them back off the full-court press and to the bargaining table. And in addition, the agents are sure, just absolutely sure that the league is bluffing about the offer.

Stern would like to tell you he’s not bluffing. From the AP:

“Yes, I am worried,” Stern said, “because theyre talking up this thing called decertification which is not a winning strategy on the one hand. On the second hand, itll take three months to teach them its not a winning strategy, which would not augur well for the season.

The agents misunderstand it and all it does is delay things. They themselves think that if the players decertify, then the league will change its offer. And that will not happen as a result of decertification. Its a losing strategy for them.”

via Stern: Greedy agents hurting chances of NBA deal – NBA- NBC Sports.

Oh, and about those agents?

“By some combination of mendacity and greed, the agents who are looking out for themselves rather than their clients are trying to scuttle the deal,” Stern said in a phone interview. “They’re engaged in what appears to be an orchestrated Twitter campaign and a series of interviews that are designed to deny the economic realities of the proposal.”

“No one talks about the rise in compensation under the deal, no one talks about the amount of money being spent,” Stern said. “I just think that the players aren’t getting the information, the true information from their agents, who are banding together, sort of the coalition of the greedy and the mendacious, to do whatever they can not to have fewer opportunities for the agents to make money.”

via Stern: ‘Greedy’ agents hurting chances of NBA deal – NBA- NBC Sports.

Well, geez, David, how do you really feel? Don’t hold back. Let it all out.

So, as I am wont to do, I’d like to break this down to its simplest terms.

David Stern is publicly responding to allegations that he is bluffing by saying he is not bluffing, which, if he is bluffing, is another bluff about the matter of him bluffing. 

That sound you hear is me pounding my head against the wall.

So Monday, we’ll find out if Stern’s bluffing or not, and if he’s not, the union will have no choice but to blow up the season. If you’re wondering where the red phone is to stop this entire disaster, surprise! It’s a banana, and we’re all doomed.