If we can stop laughing, we’ll tell you about the Heat being interested in Eddy Curry

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We’re going to get through this with a straight face. Or at least as far as we can. You ready?

Yahoo! Sports reports Saturday that the Miami Heat are strongly considering signing free agent center Eddy Curry to help with the playoff run.

… Hold it in.

Curry played, well, was on roster for the Knicks for five seasons, appearing in 222 games across that span (I’ll let you do the math). A combination of weight issues, injuries, weight issues, personal problems, and weight issues kept him from seeing much time and eventually his contract became the largest behemoth around the neck of the Knicks, and came to symbolize the failure of the Isiah Thomas era. But after being waived this season, Curry went to Chicago to work with Tim Grover. Estimates are that in just a few weeks, Curry has lost close to 25 pounds.

He is still reported to be close to 350 pounds.

Seriously, serious news story here. Don’t distract us.

To make room for Curry, the Heat would likely cut second round pick Dexter Pittman, who has seen almost no time this season, despite having quite the hefty frame himself and showing some potential in preseason in areas Curry might suffer in, like… dexterity. And freedom of movement. And cholesterol.

Sorry. Won’t happen again.

The Heat do need a center upgrade. Even adding Erick Dampier hasn’t solved their problems down low, and an effective Curry might be the difference in staving off some of the Eastern elite like Boston and Chicago…

I can’t do it anymore.

It’s Eddy Curry, for crying out loud. It’s great that he’s trying to get back in shape. It’s awesome that he’s lost 25 pounds. Him recovering and having any semblance of a career after what he’s gone through in his personal life over the past few years would be a remarkable story. And surely, Pat Riley used washed-up veterans like Antoine Walker and Gary Payton in 2006 to help the Heat win a title. But it’s Eddy Curry. He was never that talented to begin with, and the weight issues only further complicate that. When word leaked out that Curry was hopeful to sign with Miami, everyone laughed it off, saying how not even Miami was that desperate.

Turns out Miami is exactly that desperate.

What’s odd is why they don’t give Pittman at least a shot. A big, slightly overweight rookie who can come in and provide energy? Isn’t  taking a chance on a player like that exactly how the Celtics got Glen “Big Baby” Davis? Instead the Heat continue to be obsessed with veterans, particularly ones three to four years past their prime. If this doesn’t work out, and we mean in a big way, it’s going to be a pretty huge mark against Pat Riley. Signing the Big 3? Stroke of genius. Everything after that? Nothing but gristle.

Sorry. Couldn’t help it.

Update 4:51 p.m.: The Palm Beach Post spoke to Riley who said he worked out several players in Chicago, that it was a “big picture look” and that anything beyond that is purely speculative. Maybe, some sense in a world gone mad? Possibly?

Kevin Love launches “Love Fund” to bring more focus to mental health issues

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The NBA is not shying away from the issue of the mental health of its players.

In the wake of All-Stars DeMar DeRozan and Kevin Love coming forward about their mental health challenges, the league and the players’ union combined to tell players to speak out on the issue and take advantage of the services offered.

Kevin Love is doing more than just that, he has formed the Kevin Love Fund to help change the stigma around mental health issues. The fund has partners such as Headspace, with the focus being on prioritizing mental health awareness. He went on the Today Show on NBC to talk about it.

Love has become a leader and spokesman around the issue. Love came forward near the end of last season to talk about his battles with anxiety and depression. That opened the door for others around the NBA to step forward as well, such as Kelly Oubre and Paul Pierce.

Sixers hire Elton Brand as new General Manager

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Filling the 76ers vacant general manager position dragged out all summer for one main reason:

They liked what they already had in-house. The Sixers were an especially collegial and collaborative group with their decision making, and if they brought in a big name from the outside — former Cavaliers’ GM David Griffin, or the two guys who went deep into the interview process Utah assistant GM Justin Zanik on Rockets VP Gersson Rosas — it would change that dynamic.

Which is why they have decided to keep this in the family, and will promote Elton Brand from vice president of basketball operations to general manager. It’s a story broken by Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN and confirmed by NBC Sports Philadelphia’s John Clark.

Brand, a former Philadelphia player, was the general manager of their G-League team, the Delaware Blue Coats, before becoming the VP of basketball operations. He will replace Bryan Colangelo, who was forced out following a Twitter scandal involving his wife.

There were other title changes within the organization as well.

What this means on the ground is don’t expect any significant changes with the Sixers’ plans — nor should there be. They are banking on Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, and Markelle Fultz — now with a functional jump shot, they hope — to be at the core of a contending team, then next summer they will go big game hunting again for an elite free agent. (There is more pressure to get a deal done this summer before the big extensions for those young stars start to really kick in.) That said, this is a team poised on the brink of a great run.

And if things are going well, why make a dramatic change? Brand can help them on the course already set.

Pat Riley: Dion Waiters not recovered for start of training camp, “unlikely” for start of season

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This is a setback.

When Dion Waiters had ankle surgery 30 games into last season, the hope was that he would be healthy for the start of this season and return to the post All-Star form of 2017, when his hot play (15.6 points per game, 41 percent from three and carrying a heavy offensive load) led the Heat to offer him a four-year contract.

Turns out, that’s not going to happen.

It was Pat Riley who made the announcement, speaking to the media.

Waiters was not healthy last season, and while he averaged 14.3 points a game he was not nearly as efficient — 30.6 percent from three, shooting 39.8 percent overall, a PER of 10.5.

This could move Dwyane Wade into the starting lineup to open the season. Beyond that, the Heat have the guard depth to survive this with Wade and Wayne Ellington at the two, plus Goran Dragic, Tyler Johnson, Malik Newman, and Briante Weber heading into camp.

Waiters being out also is bad news for the player but could save the franchise money on another front: Waiters receives a $1.1 million bonus if he plays in 70 games this season. If he misses the start of the season, he becomes far less likely to make that threshold.

Michael Jordan donates $2 million to Hurricane Florence recovery efforts

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Michael Jordan is North Carolina through and through. His father is from Wallace, he played his high school ball in Wilmington, he won a national championship in college as a North Carolina Tar Heel in Chapel Hill, and he is now the part-owner and chairman of the Charlotte Hornets.

All those cities have been in the news the past several days for the wrong reasons — they have been part of the devastation Hurricane Florence has unleashed on the region. There are 34 reported deaths from the storm, 26 of those in North Carolina.

To help out, Jordan is donating $2 million to the relief and recovery efforts. Jordan is contributing $1 million each to the American Red Cross and the Foundation For The Carolinas’ Hurricane Florence Response Fund.

“It just hits home,” Jordan told The Associated Press. “I know all of those places: Wilmington, Fayetteville, Myrtle Beach, New Bern, and Wallace… So quite naturally it hits home, and I felt like I had to act in a sense that this is my home.”

This is not all Jordan and his Hornets are doing to help out. Charlotte and Fanatics teamed up to design a T-shirt with the Hornets logo in the middle of the states of North and South Carolina surrounded by the words “Carolina Strong” and 100 percent of the net proceeds from the shirt sales will go to the Foundation For The Carolinas’ Hurricane Florence Response Fund

On Friday, more than 100 members of the Hornets organization will partner will help pack disaster food boxes at Second Harvest Food Bank of Metrolina. The disaster food boxes – with Food Lion donating the food — will be shipped to Wilmington, N.C., Fayetteville, N.C., and Myrtle Beach, S.C., and distributed to those who have been directly impacted by the hurricane. The organization’s goal is to pack 5,000 boxes.