Michael Jordan’s feasting table consists of the ruin of his opponents. Kinda.

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Michael Jordan has to live on the coolest stuff. Because he’s Michael Jordan. So it should come as no surprise that his dining room table? It now serves as a reminder of every point he scored in the NBA. From TBD:

Nevertheless, Sirvet, a local sculptor who works in metal, knew that he would be competing against several artists for the honor of crafting a dining room table for His Airness. He wanted something that would catch Jordan’s eye, so he proposed a table drilled with one hole for every point Jordan scored in his basketball career, totaling 32,292 (The table actually has 32,296 holes if you include the holes drilled for each leveling foot, but Sirvet doesn’t count those).

“[If I were him,] I’d like to see some manifestation of my life’s work,” says Sirvet. “It’s gotta be cool to sit back and say, ‘I can quantitatively look back at every point I’ve scored.'”

via D.C. artist designs Michael Jordan’s dining room table – @TBD Arts | TBD.com.

Sirvet is admittedly not a sports guy, so he probably misses what he’s actually done here. He probably thinks it’s about his greatness and the glory of his career to Jordan. But no. Instead? Jordan is able to eat his mac and cheese on a table which serves as a reminder of every opponent he felled, every heart he broke, every doubter he crushed in his fist.

It would be cooler if the holes were labeled.

After all, how many “NYK” holes would be on that thing? And somewhere, there are two very special holes for Cleveland’s faithful.

Sorry Cleveland, I know you’re having a rough time enough.