One of the things I tend to gravitate when we’re talking about off-the-court issues is how I would respond, were the situation to arise in my very non-famous life. It’s easy to put these players on a pedestal, and just as easy to knock them into the dirt and kick them around. To be clear, their lives are not like our own. Bills, daycare, bosses, the hassle of daily life, all of these things are not a part of their life while they’re in the A. But they are still human. As my father says, “They put their pants on one leg at a time” just like the rest of us.
(I promise I’m not headed towards slipping in quotes from friends and family every thirty seconds like some guys in the sports business.)
So when I read about Dwyane Wade’s custody battle which Wade testified in Friday, I think about what it would be like going through that process, and having it all played out in the press. Wade on Friday answered questions about whether he beat his kids, whether he engaged in sexual acts with Gabrielle Union in front of them, whether he had drugs and weapons in the house while they lived with him. He denied abandoning them, neglecting them, and abusing them.
He testified that his ex-wife physically abused him during arguments, and that he didn’t abuse her, but he did sit her down “aggressively” and in the process of flailing her arms, she hit herself.
All of this in a court room with reporters watching.
Having that process dragged out in front of people has to be both painful and embarrassing for someone, irregardless of how many points they score or who their teammates are or how much money they make. Whether the allegations are true or not, it’s a painful, uncomfortable situation. For what it’s worth, a lawyer appointed for Wade’s two sons has recommended that Wade be granted custody and that his ex-wife seek professional counseling.
Wade was granted custody in June, but the boys have stayed with their mother while Wade gets through his summer wheelings and dealings. Wade told reporters after he testified that the process has been especially hard on his oldest son and that it “hurts to see him go through this.” That’s the worst part in all of this. Two boys, their home torn apart, dealing with courtrooms and photographers and allegations between their parents. You can sympathize with either Wade or his ex-wife, both have been burdened with hurt in this process that happens so often in our society. But everyone can empathize with two boys trying to make sense of a world that won’t be repaired no matter how much money their father makes.