Tag: Nick Gilbert

Dan Gilbert

For all your obscure NBA trivia wall hanging needs, the Nick Gilbert fathead


This is weird.

I’m sorry, it is. It’s just really odd to see the 14-year-old son of an NBA owner who was considered to be the good luck charm for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2011 NBA Lottery as a FatHead. It’s just peculiar. But there it is. Right there. On the screen



All the proceeds go to the Children’s Tumor Foundation, which is really nice. And it’s awesome that the 14-year-old has become such a basketball culture figure to warrant his own fathead. But still. Weird. Kind of creepy. Borderline creepy, really. Imagine putting that in your rec room before the fellas come over to hang out.

“Hey, Jim.”

“Hey, Bob.”

“I love what you’ve done with the place. Is that couch suede?”

“Poly-suede. Twice the material, none of the drawbacks! Beer?”

“Absolutely! Wow, this place is great. You’ve even got the “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls” pinball machine!”

“Took me a long time to find it, but it was worth the wait.”

“This place is great, I just can’t belie…oh.”


“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“No, what?”

“Uh, is that Nick Gilbert?”

“Yeah, I’m a big Kyrie Irving fan.”

“So why not get the Kyrie Irving fathead?”

“Because this is awesome! He’s why the Cavs won the lottery!”

“Really? Not the fact that the Clippers, despite having been gifted Blake Griffin, will always find themselves running into the figurative NBA door on account of their being run by what some say is the worst human being on the planet?”

“Nope, all Nick!”

“…. You realize you have a 14-year-old boy hanging on your wall. Typically the only people who say that are (redacted on account of posthumous popularity) and Eli Roth.”

“Hey, if you don’t like it, you can get out. There’s the door. You’ll know it by the exit sign in Comic Sans.”

(HT: Deadspin via SBNation.com)

While supplies last: Decorate your walls with the life-size image of Dan Gilbert’s son!

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The fact that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert also happens to own Fathead, monopolizers of the vinyl wall decal industry, became NBA relevant last summer. As you may recall, Gilbert marked down the price of all LeBron James decals immediately after he chose to leave the Cavs, and worked in a Benedict Arnold zing in the process. Good for a giggle and an internet high five, no doubt.

But now that little bit of Gilbert/Cavs trivia comes back to our NBA circle once again, as Nick Gilbert — Dan’s son and the team’s memorable, bow tie adorning rep from this year’s draft lottery — has been immortalized in Fathead vinyl.  The Children’s Tumor Foundation will benefit from all of the profits from the sale of the young Gilbert’s wall-decorating likeness, but even that worthy a cause doesn’t make it any less of a bizarre purchase. Then again, is the prospect that much stranger than covering your walls with the likes of Anderson Varejao or Boobie Gibson?

(via Deadspin)

Wolves GM David Kahn hints at lottery fix. Fine on way.

Timberwolves Kahn Basketball

What can get you in more trouble with David Stern than saying his referees are biased?

Saying the NBA Draft Lottery is fixed.

Which is pretty much what Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn did after the lottery (where his team with the worst record fell to the No. 2 spot). Cleveland won the top spot.  Cavs owner Dan Gilbert had sent as a team representative his 14-year-old son Nick, who is battling Neurofibromatosis, a disease that causes the body’s nerves to grow potentially cancerous tumors.

“This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines,” Kahn said. “Last year it was Abe Pollin’s widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told Kevin: ‘We’re toast.’ This is not happening for us and I was right.”

Kahn might as well get the checkbook out now. And for the record, saying widows and sick children who had to undergo chemotherapy get all the luck is just pretty stupid.

For the record, the league has gone to great lengths over the years to make this process as transparent as possible. Every team — including the Timberwolves — has a representative in the room watching the Keno machine (or whatever they wish to call it) pull out ping-pong balls. There are 14 balls, leading to 1,001 number combinations and those are assigned to teams based on percentages (Kahn and Minnesota had a 25 percent chance of winning, so they had 250 number combinations).

All of that to fight the perception that the draft lottery is fixed.

But the stigma of lottery fixes — going back to Patrick Ewing and the “frozen envelope theory” — remains with a lot of fans and will not shake easily. Kahn just reinforced it. And somebody is going to pay for that.