With the cooler-than-I-expected solar eclipse on Monday came a lot of bad solar eclipse jokes on Twitter. Because that’s what Twitter does. Especially the NBA Twitterverse. We knew a lot of “where on the flat earth will Kyrie Irving watch the eclipse?” jokes were coming.
There were a couple of good ones, however.
Appropriately, the Phoenix Suns won the day.
One personal favorite here, an old meme that never goes out of style.
For about as long as we can remember, Joel Embiid has famously thirsted after Rihanna on Twitter. Fans have tried to boost his standing with the singer, but it apparently that has not been enough.
In 2014, Embiid mentioned on social media that a “famous girl” — presumably Rihanna — told him to “Come back when you’re an All-Star.”
Well, today is that day.
Embiid is a starter out of the Eastern Conference, and on Thursday night he had his chance to speak to Rihanna (or whomever) via national TV on TNT.
Did Embiid decide to reach out to this famous person? Apparently he’s off it.
This is like that scene from Private Parts when Howard Stern hits No. 1 and he tells Paul Giamatti’s character to get lost.
Embiid had the chance to curve Rihanna (or whomever) and took it. Long live The Process.
NBA All-Star voting is over, and now we have the results. The starters are in, and what’s left is for us to wait until they announce the teams after they are picked in double secret ceremony.
Of course, the NBA did release the full voting results via their PR website this week, and as such there are some head scratchers. My boy Patrick Redford over at Deadspin did an excellent job rounding up some of the players who got exactly one (1) vote from other players.
The gag here is that these guys presumably voted for themselves.
Of course, what I found most interesting was actually the guys who got multiple votes from their compatriots without being All-Star caliber players.
My favorite list of player-voted non-All-Stars includes: Michael Beasley (4), Gordon Hayward (2), Boban Marjanovic (2), Jahlil Okafor (4), Quincy Acy (2), Tyler Zeller (4), T.J. McConnell (2), Elfrid Payton (2), Zaza Pachulia (3), Taj Gibson (6), Zach Randolph (5), Maurice Harkless (2), Deyonta Davis (3), Lonzo Ball (9), Mike Conley (3).
There’s a whole smattering of guys in there who either didn’t play enough, aren’t stars, are injured, or who aren’t very good.
That multiple players took time to vote for these guys really speaks to the frivolity of the NBA All-Star Game. At least outside of player contract incentives.
Bring on February!
LeBron James is one of the best passers the NBA has ever seen, but even this is too hard to believe.
During Thursday’s game between the Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers, LeBron through a ridiculous behind-the-back pass that nutmegged Orlando’s Aaron Gordon.
The result of the play was a bucket for Dwyane Wade.
I mean, that’s just … insane.
The most fantastic reported detail of the Rockets-Clippers post-game brouhaha Monday: As Trevor Ariza, Gerald Green, James Harden and Chris Paul charged the Clippers’ locker room through a back entrance, Clint Capela knocked on the front door and was turned away.
Was Houston attacking on two fronts? Was Capela serving as decoy? If so, did he know his role, or did other Rockets set him up? Was he on a solo mission?
According to NBA executive Kiki VanDeWeghe – who suspended Ariza and Green two games for the incident, but penalized no others – it amounted to practically nothing. And whatever happened involved Tarik Black, not Capela.
Jonathan Feigen of the Houston Chronicle:
VanDeWeghe said he had reviewed footage from a security camera in the main hallway and it showed that no player attempted to enter the Clippers’ locker room from the front entrance the team generally uses.
“It was reported that (Clint) Capela was out there,” VanDeWeghe said. “We have no video evidence that Capela was out there.”
Rockets center Tarik Black was on his way to lift weights at the time, as he does after each game, and heard the noise from the back hallway, VanDeWeghe said.
“He heard some commotion and called in, but never got any farther,” VanDeWeghe said. “I think we’d all do the same thing.”
VanDeWeghe violated the rule of the Old West: When the legend becomes fact, print the legend. Now, we’re left with a dull story.