Shaquille O'Neal laughs as he announces his retirement from NBA at a news conference in Windermere

Shaq says Howard leaving Orlando would be “travesty”

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“We haven’t had any irony here since about, uh, ’83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.”
—Steve Martin in Roxanne

Shaquille O’Neal digs irony. Can you dig it?

In a press conference with other TNT broadcasters on Tuesday, Shaquille O’Neal said Dwight Howard leaving Orlando would be a “travesty.”

Shaq explained that this is totally different than when he screwed over Orlando and left as a player because he left when the Lakers could (and did) offer more money. But now Orlando can offer more than any other team (one more guaranteed year and larger raises between years for a total of about $30 million) so why would Howard want to leave money on the table?

“I think they have to be a little bit worried that he hasn’t committed to signing, so there may be an underlying problem of what’s really going on,” Shaq said. “I don’t know if he doesn’t like the organization, I don’t know if he wants to go to a bigger city where he can get more endorsement deals, he can do movies. No one really knows the problem.”

There’s one other question Shaq left out: Can he win a ring in Orlando. Shaq left to get his… but this is totally different.

Draymond Green has Steve Kerr’s back with one odd pro-pot argument

Golden State Warriors' Draymond Green (23) celebrates after making a defensive stop in front of teammate Stephen Curry, left, during the second half of an NBA basketball game against the Atlanta Hawks Monday, Nov. 28, 2016, in Oakland, Calif. Golden State won 105-100. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)
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Steve Kerr missed the first half of last season with debilitating back pain, and in his quest to find pain relief he admitted he tried marijuana (which was legal for medicinal use in the state at the time). It didn’t work well for him, he added.

But Kerr also talked about how professional sports leagues, where the players are dealing with a lot of pain management (particularly the NFL and NHL), need to start viewing marijuana differently than they did a generation ago.

Draymond Green has his coach’s back, via Chris Haynes of ESPN. Although, not with the best pro-pot argument I’ve ever heard.

Vegetable?

We’re just going to let this go because his heart is in the right place. It’s kind of like the scene in Animal House: “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” “Germans?” “Forget it, he’s rolling.”

Green was also rolling when he started going in on the league’s crackdown on unnatural acts.

Draymond, so you know, here’s the link to Kiki Vandeweghe’s basketball-reference.com page. He’s not just the guy who hands out fines.

All Chandler Parsons wants for Christmas is healthy knees

Memphis Grizzlies forward Chandler Parsons poses for a picture on NBA basketball media day Monday, Sept. 26, 2016, in Memphis, Tenn. Parsons signed with the Grizzlies in July. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)
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It almost fits the song: “All I wants for Christmas is healthy knees, healthy knees, healthy knees.”

Chandler Parsons took to Twitter to answer questions from fans, and there were a few good answers in there but my favorite was this one:

Parsons has played in just six games for the Grizzlies this season, missing the start of the season to recover from off-season knee surgery, then now he has missed the last eight games with a knee bone bruise. The banged up Grizzlies could really use his shot creation back in the lineup.

As for other good questions/answers there was this combo, with a little help from ESPN’s Zach Lowe:

And then there’s this for the haters.

Sit back and watch the top 10 dunks from the first five weeks of NBA season

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Who doesn’t love a good dunk compilation?

Well, somebody probably just said “bah, humbug” but is that the person you really want to hang out with?

The fine folks at NBA.com put together the Top 10 dunks of October and November, and when Rudy Gobert dunking over Kristaps Porzingis is all the way down at 10, you know it’s a good list. Put off starting your Christmas shopping, at least for another 2:44, and watch the video.

Want to watch Chance the Rapper throw dodgeballs at mascots? Here you go.

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Want to watch Chance the Rapper throw dodgeballs at mascots? Of course you do. How is that even a question?

Above you can see just that from Chicago Friday night (where Dwyane Wade, Jimmy Butler and the Bulls knocked off the Cavaliers). Benny the Bull is on his side as well, while the Cubs’ mascot and others try and stay out of the way.

I’ll take this over another kids’ dribbling contest any day.