The Heat want to make a run at Greg Oden. I want to make a run at Isla Fisher. Both have equal odds.


The Heat are cash strapped. That tends to happen when you have three superstars playing on one team (or former superstars in the case of Chris Bosh — sorry, Chris). They need to improve their team and yet they don’t have much room and only one exception to use. So what’s the plan? Apparently it’s to go after one of the players who remains a high-priced commodity despite his inability to stay on the floor due to repeated injuries. That’s right. The Heat want to pursue Greg Oden.

From the WWL:

The Heat are considering making a run at restricted free agent Greg Oden, league sources said. Oden, who hasn’t played in nearly two years after suffering two different knee injuries, has a key doctor’s examination this week when he could be cleared to resume contact practices.

Oden has a one-year qualifying offer from the Portland Trail Blazers for $8.9 million on his plate at the moment. The most the Heat could offer is the bulk of the $5 million mid-level exception.

via Portland Trail Blazers’ Greg Oden drawing interest from Miami Heat, sources say – ESPN.

Yeah, let me go out on a limb here and say there is zero chance of this happening. It’s not just the $8.9 million qualifying offer from Oden. There’s a better than decent chance that the Blazers, backed by Paul Allen who did a Batman impression at the CBA talks in the forms of intimidation over wanting to reset salary offers, will make a ridiculous extension offer. And if they don’t, some team will. That’s the punchline of the lockout. Teams are still going to make a ridiculous offer for a guy who has had three knee surgeries. Because he’s tall, and bulky, and for some reason people still insist on saying he has “bad luck” with “freak injuries.” I’m sympathetic towards Oden. I hope his days of injury are over. It’s terrible for not just the basketball, financial, and emotional reasons for Oden, but because injuries diminish quality of life, and Oden as suffered a lot with them. But he’s still going to get that offer, and his injuries are a pattern.

Essentially the Heat are hoping that he elects to turn down the qualifying offer from Portland, all other offers (or that those teams have the restraint not to go overboard with an offer – hahahahahahaah that’s good, I needed that), and that he wants to play with the Heat. The last part isn’t tricky. Everything else is.

See, I think Isla Fisher is insanely beautiful and she’s the single funniest female I’ve ever seen outside of Gilda Radner and Tina Fey. But if you’re going to look at my odds of landing her, outside of the fact that I’m happily married with a kid, well, they’re not great. See she’s happily to Sasha Baron Cohen with two daughters. Other than that, well, um, she’s Isla Fisher and er, I… well, you get the point. Even if she didn’t have the qualifying offer (continued marriage with one of the funniest people on earth and a wonderful family), she’d still have to take less money despite better offers (from everyone else on the planet). So no, my odds are not great, and neither are the Heat’s.

I ran this by my wife. She laughed for twenty seconds then told me to take the garbage out. She doesn’t think the Heat have a great shot either.

If Pat Riley manages to pull this off, it will be his second offseason of creating sheer magic.

Is DeMarcus Cousins MVP worthy? “It’s mine to grab”

DeMarcus Cousins

Last season, DeMarcus Cousins received zero MVP votes (the same as every year of his career). Even though he averaged 24.1 points, and 12.7 rebounds a game, which was enough to get him his first All-Star berth, MVP is another thing entirely. Only players on winning teams tend to draw the attention of MVP voters.

This season, can Cousins — arguably the best center in the game — get in the conversation?

He thinks it’s more than just that, he told Kevin Ding at Bleacher Report.

The topic is the 2015-16 NBA MVP award and whether it could be reachable for DeMarcus Cousins.

“Reachable, man?” Cousins told Bleacher Report, his voice rising high. “It’s mine to grab.”

As noted above, the only way Cousins gets into the conversation — fair or not — is if the Kings are in the playoffs (at the very least). He understands that.

“It’s going to take a full team effort,” Cousins said. “I’ll try to play at a high level and bring my team along with me.”

Vlade Divac built a Kings’ team designed to start winning now — as you would expect from a team a year away from moving into a new arena they need to fill. Owner Vivek Ranadive is not about selling hope anymore, he wants to sell wins.

I think Cousins can help provide that.

I’m less sold on the cast around him being able to help.

PBT Extra bold prediction preview: Markieff Morris will be a happy Sun

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After a bumpy season where the he fought with Suns coaches, then a summer where he and his twin Marcus felt they were blindsided by a trade, Markieff Morris has been plenty vocal about his unhappiness in Phoenix. To the point it has cost him some serious cash.

So what should we expect from Markieff Morris’ upcoming season?

Relative calm, I tell Jenna Corrado of NBCSports in this latest edition of PBT Extra previewing the NBA season.

The reasons are twofold. First, he has to realize the Suns aren’t trading him anyway (especially not while he publicly demands a trade, lowering his trade value). Second, can you imagine how new locker room leader Tyson Chandler is going to react to that? Chandler was brought in to fill a leadership void in the locker room, and you can bet he will make his displeasure at such team-disrupting antics known.

Still not sure if that’s enough to get the Suns to the playoffs.