greg_oden

The Heat want to make a run at Greg Oden. I want to make a run at Isla Fisher. Both have equal odds.

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The Heat are cash strapped. That tends to happen when you have three superstars playing on one team (or former superstars in the case of Chris Bosh — sorry, Chris). They need to improve their team and yet they don’t have much room and only one exception to use. So what’s the plan? Apparently it’s to go after one of the players who remains a high-priced commodity despite his inability to stay on the floor due to repeated injuries. That’s right. The Heat want to pursue Greg Oden.

From the WWL:

The Heat are considering making a run at restricted free agent Greg Oden, league sources said. Oden, who hasn’t played in nearly two years after suffering two different knee injuries, has a key doctor’s examination this week when he could be cleared to resume contact practices.

Oden has a one-year qualifying offer from the Portland Trail Blazers for $8.9 million on his plate at the moment. The most the Heat could offer is the bulk of the $5 million mid-level exception.

via Portland Trail Blazers’ Greg Oden drawing interest from Miami Heat, sources say – ESPN.

Yeah, let me go out on a limb here and say there is zero chance of this happening. It’s not just the $8.9 million qualifying offer from Oden. There’s a better than decent chance that the Blazers, backed by Paul Allen who did a Batman impression at the CBA talks in the forms of intimidation over wanting to reset salary offers, will make a ridiculous extension offer. And if they don’t, some team will. That’s the punchline of the lockout. Teams are still going to make a ridiculous offer for a guy who has had three knee surgeries. Because he’s tall, and bulky, and for some reason people still insist on saying he has “bad luck” with “freak injuries.” I’m sympathetic towards Oden. I hope his days of injury are over. It’s terrible for not just the basketball, financial, and emotional reasons for Oden, but because injuries diminish quality of life, and Oden as suffered a lot with them. But he’s still going to get that offer, and his injuries are a pattern.

Essentially the Heat are hoping that he elects to turn down the qualifying offer from Portland, all other offers (or that those teams have the restraint not to go overboard with an offer – hahahahahahaah that’s good, I needed that), and that he wants to play with the Heat. The last part isn’t tricky. Everything else is.

See, I think Isla Fisher is insanely beautiful and she’s the single funniest female I’ve ever seen outside of Gilda Radner and Tina Fey. But if you’re going to look at my odds of landing her, outside of the fact that I’m happily married with a kid, well, they’re not great. See she’s happily to Sasha Baron Cohen with two daughters. Other than that, well, um, she’s Isla Fisher and er, I… well, you get the point. Even if she didn’t have the qualifying offer (continued marriage with one of the funniest people on earth and a wonderful family), she’d still have to take less money despite better offers (from everyone else on the planet). So no, my odds are not great, and neither are the Heat’s.

I ran this by my wife. She laughed for twenty seconds then told me to take the garbage out. She doesn’t think the Heat have a great shot either.

If Pat Riley manages to pull this off, it will be his second offseason of creating sheer magic.

Report: LeBron James might not play for Team USA in 2016 Olympics because Kobe Bryant won’t

Kobe Bryant (L) and team mate Lebron James of the U.S. sit on the bench during the game against France during their men's Group A basketball match at the London 2012 Olympic Games in the Basketball arena July 29, 2012. REUTERS/Mike Segar
REUTERS/Mike Segar
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LeBron James admires Kobe Bryant.

How much?

Kobe pulling his name from 2016 Olympic consideration (perhaps an informed preemptive gesture just before the roster finalists were announced) might keep LeBron off Team USA.

Kevin Ding of Bleacher Report:

Bryant not pursuing a spot on the U.S. Olympic basketball team this summer is a very real reason James might also not join the team, according to NBA sources.

James is that disappointed the Rio Olympics will not serve as the final, ultimate celebration of Bryant’s career—and more so that James won’t have the priceless honor of being Bryant’s co-star teammate when it ends.

I don’t buy this.

Kobe said during the 2012 Olympics those would be his final Olympics. Two weeks later, LeBron said he wanted to play in 2016.

Did playing with Kobe on Team USA become more important to LeBron over the last few years?

I suppose it’s possible. Many got behind sending Kobe to Rio as a sendoff into retirement. Perhaps, LeBron got attached to the idea and became bitter once it fell through.

I just have a hard time believing LeBron would tie his decision so strongly to another player. Remember, he left one of his best friends, Dwyane Wade, in Miami to sign with the Cavaliers. Would Kobe’s presence really dictate LeBron’s outlook?

LeBron has been mum on his plans for Team USA. I’m sure the length of Cleveland’s playoff run and the toll it takes on his body will factor. He might not yet know what he’ll do.

The ball is in his court, which can be challenging. There has been backlash from media and fans against players who turn down Team USA, and LeBron could be trying to avoid that.

I trust Ding was told LeBron felt this way, but nobody – including me, including Ding – can know what’s in LeBron’s head. But this report strikes me as LeBron setting up the ability to attribute his absence to Kobe’s rather than facing the full brunt of reaction that comes to turning down Team USA.

Did the Clippers reenact Paul Pierce being stabbed during pregame introductions? (video)

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The Clippers got hyped for Paul Pierce‘s potential last game in Boston by… reenacting the time Pierce got stabbed there? If not, it sure looks like it.

Mock fighting is the norm for the Clippers’ pregame, but I haven’t seen a single player targeted like this. Whatever gets you pumped, I guess.

Markieff Morris flips off Suns fan (video)

Phoenix Suns' Markieff Morris reacts to a call during the second half of the team's NBA basketball game against the Golden State Warriors, Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2016, in Phoenix. (AP Photo/Matt York)
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Markieff Morris‘ frustrations last night didn’t end with his scuffle with teammate Archie Goodwin. They didn’t end with the Suns’ loss to the Warriors, either.

As Morris was leaving the court, a fan heckled him: “Markieff, you f—ing suck. I can’t wait until you’re traded.” Though Morris probably agrees with the second sentence, he flipped off the fan:

Though it’s difficult to confirm that video was from last night, it jibes with a previous report of the incident.

John Gambadoro of Arizona Sports 98.7

Morris will likely at least be fined. Considering his previous behavioral problems this season – he threw a towel at Jeff Hornacek – I wouldn’t completely rule out a suspension. But a fine seems most likely.

Dwight Howard commits ridiculously sloppy inbound violation (video)

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An embarrassing lack of focus by the Rockets? I can hardly believe it.

Late in a game against a team Houston is battling for playoff position, Dwight Howard was just careless, stepping on the baseline as he inbounded the ball. It’s a needless goof, and he’ll get plenty of deserved criticism for it.

But don’t overlook Patrick Beverley‘s frustration foul on Damian Lillard before the ensuing inbound. That was nearly as foolish and even more costly.

The sequence sparked a 7-0 run for the Trail Blazers, who seized control of the game en route to a 116-103 win.