Dan Gilbert

For all your obscure NBA trivia wall hanging needs, the Nick Gilbert fathead


This is weird.

I’m sorry, it is. It’s just really odd to see the 14-year-old son of an NBA owner who was considered to be the good luck charm for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2011 NBA Lottery as a FatHead. It’s just peculiar. But there it is. Right there. On the screen



All the proceeds go to the Children’s Tumor Foundation, which is really nice. And it’s awesome that the 14-year-old has become such a basketball culture figure to warrant his own fathead. But still. Weird. Kind of creepy. Borderline creepy, really. Imagine putting that in your rec room before the fellas come over to hang out.

“Hey, Jim.”

“Hey, Bob.”

“I love what you’ve done with the place. Is that couch suede?”

“Poly-suede. Twice the material, none of the drawbacks! Beer?”

“Absolutely! Wow, this place is great. You’ve even got the “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls” pinball machine!”

“Took me a long time to find it, but it was worth the wait.”

“This place is great, I just can’t belie…oh.”


“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“No, what?”

“Uh, is that Nick Gilbert?”

“Yeah, I’m a big Kyrie Irving fan.”

“So why not get the Kyrie Irving fathead?”

“Because this is awesome! He’s why the Cavs won the lottery!”

“Really? Not the fact that the Clippers, despite having been gifted Blake Griffin, will always find themselves running into the figurative NBA door on account of their being run by what some say is the worst human being on the planet?”

“Nope, all Nick!”

“…. You realize you have a 14-year-old boy hanging on your wall. Typically the only people who say that are (redacted on account of posthumous popularity) and Eli Roth.”

“Hey, if you don’t like it, you can get out. There’s the door. You’ll know it by the exit sign in Comic Sans.”

(HT: Deadspin via SBNation.com)

Tony Parker wants to play six more seasons with Spurs

Tony Parker
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Tony Parker revealed a plan nearly two years ago to play until he’s 38.

Coming off his worst season since his rookie year, the Spurs point guard is sticking to that goal.

Parker, via Marc J. Spears of Yahoo Sports:

“The Spurs know I want to play until I’m 38,” Parker told Yahoo Sports in a recent phone interview. “That will be 20 seasons for me. That’s my goal. This year is No. 15. And if I’m lucky enough and I’m healthy, hopefully I can play 20 seasons and then I’ll be ready to retire.”

That seems pretty ambitious, no matter how you handle the conflicting math. (Parker is 33. If he plays 20 seasons, he’ll spend most of his final season at age 39 and turn 40 during the playoffs.)

Parker is already showing signs of slippage. Many of his key numbers were down last season, including ESPN’s real-plus minus, where he quietly slipped from 12th to 67th among point guards.

But Gregg Popovich is very liberal with resting his players, and Parker won’t have to carry too much of the load. Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili will probably retire before Parker, but the Spurs will still have Kawhi Leonard and LaMarcus Aldridge.

I wouldn’t count on it, but it’s possible Parker lasts that long.

Report: Pelicans signing Greg Smith

Greg Smith
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The Pelicans starting center, Omer Asik, is injured.

Their backup center, Alexis Ajinca, is injured.

Enter Greg Smith.

Scott Kushner of The Advocate:

Smith was part of the Rockets’ 2012-13 rotation, but otherwise, he has seen limited minutes in his four-year career with Houston and Dallas. In that small sample, he has looked alright. The 6-foot-10 24-year-old uses his big frame and massive hands to catch passes and finish efficiently near the rim. He has also become more disciplined defensively.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes the regular-season roster behind the 13 Pelicans with guaranteed salaries.

But it’s also possible New Orleans signed him just an extra preseason body. That’d beat relying too heavily on the aging Kendrick Perkins and undersized Jeff Adrien at center. Anthony Davis is the Pelicans’ best option at center with Asik and Ajinca sidelined (and maybe even with them healthy), but the biggest drawback to playing him there is the injury risk. If Davis is going to deal with the banging at center, might as well save it for games that count.

Still, even New Orleans plans to keep Smith only through the preseason, this at least gives him a chance to impress.