Miami Heat v Houston Rockets

Heat players nickname themselves “The Heatles”


Well, this should be gasoline on the fire that is people thinking the Miami Heat’s egos are running amok.

During his postgame comments Monday night (via the Miami Herald), LeBron joked that the Heat call themselves “The Heatles” because they sell out every stadium they tour on the road. (The Heatles is a not-so-subtle Beatles reference. You know, the Beatles. That band Apple is incessantly hyping on iTunes right now.)

Ugh. I can’t want until the phony Heatlemania has bitten the dust.

LeBron, you should have stuck with contraction talk. It’s just too early for this — the Beatles are the most successful rock band of all time and you guys have yet to really do anything except look good in December. You haven’t even been on Ed Sullivan yet.

One other thing — try selling out your home arena before you go say this stuff. Think the Beatles didn’t sell out in Liverpool? The Heat are packing arenas on the road but any reader of this blog can still walk up to the box office windows and buy tickets for Heat games at the American Airlines Arena. Not good.

(LeBron, just a word of advice between you and me — if you’re on a Beatles kick avoid that whole “bigger than Jesus” thing that John Lennon tried. Did not go over well then, would get you crushed now that Christians have figured out this Internet thing. Just a warning.)

Over at CBS Facts & Rumors, Matt Moore makes the case that LeBron is really a good fit for John Lennon, Dwayne Wade makes a very good Paul McCartney, but that Chris Bosh is really more Ringo than the intellectual George Harrison (it was Harrison who helped transform the Beatles into the groundbreaking band it became by the late 1960s). All that works for me. I might start calling Bosh “Ringo.”

Report: Matt Barnes attacked Derek Fisher, who’s dating Barnes’ estranged wife

Derek Fisher, Matt Barnes, Russell Westbrook

Matt Barnes is an instigator. He has been arrested for domestic violence. He also had a weird thing where he implied he was dating Rihanna only for her to claim they’d never never met.

Which is to say this is believable – that the Grizzlies forward attacked Knicks coach Derek Fisher for dating his estranged wife.

Ian Mohr of the New York Post:

Sources said Fisher was at the LA home of Gloria Govan — Barnes’ estranged wife​,​ who stars on “Basketball Wives LA” — on Saturday. Fisher and Govan have been dating for “a few months,” a source said, after Fisher filed to divorce his wife of 10 years, Candace, in March.

But when Barnes learned that Fisher was at his former home with Gloria, he drove 95 miles to LA to “beat the s–t” out of Fisher, sources said.

“Derek was in Gloria’s back yard with about 10 people having a bonfire on ​​Saturday,” said a source. “Derek’s separated from his wife and there’s a relationship with [Gloria].”

The source added, “Barnes was in Santa Barbara [at Memphis Grizzlies training camp] and heard that Fisher was in his house. He went crazy. He got in his car and went to the house and went after Fisher.”

​A source close to Fisher ​confirmed the fight but said, “Matt came after Derek but he only had a few scratches … Derek’s not going to press charges, he’s going to let it go.”

Even if Fisher – who missed practice Monday for what the Knicks called “personal reasons” – isn’t pressing charges, the NBA is investigating.

Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo Sports:

This is a weird jurisdictional issue, especially if no criminal charges are filed. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the league punishes Barnes – a former Lakers teammate of Fisher – if it finds evidence to support the Post’s description of events.

Caron Butler details Gilbert Arenas-Javaris Crittenton gun incident

Caron Butler

Caron Butler wrote an autobiography, a recently published excerpt details his accounting of the Gilbert Arenas-Javaris Crittenton gun incident when they were with the Wizards.

An excerpt of the excerpt in The Washington Post:

When I entered the locker room, I thought I had somehow been transported back to my days on the streets of Racine. Gilbert was standing in front of his two locker stalls, the ones previously used by Michael Jordan, with four guns on display. Javaris was standing in front of his own stall, his back to Gilbert.

“Hey, MF, come pick one,” Gilbert told Javaris while pointing to the weapons. “I’m going to shoot your [expletive] with one of these.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to shoot me with one of those,” said Javaris, turning around slowly like a gunslinger in the Old West. “I’ve got one right here.”

He pulled out his own gun, already loaded, cocked it, and pointed it at Gilbert.

Other players who had been casually arriving, laughing and joking with each other, came to a sudden halt, their eyes bugging out. It took them only a few seconds to realize this was for real, a shootaround of a whole different nature. They all looked at each other and then they ran, the last man out locking the door behind him.

Somebody outside the locker room called 911. Flip Saunders was the coach back then, but he was too scared to even come into the locker room.

Click through to read the entire excerpt. It’s captivating.

Arenas is essentially retired and still spouting off silly takes.

Crittenton is currently serving a 23-year sentence for voluntary manslaughter.

Butler plays for the Kings.