Heat's Da'Sean Butler tweets a children's story. About a purple dinosaur. It's a little weird.

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barney.jpgSentences I never thought I would type include:

The Miami Heat’s Da’Sean Butler has tweeted a children’s story. That involves Barney a purple dinosaur and “Family Guy.”

But there you have it. It’s true. He tweeted a long story about a children’s dinosaur. Our own Ira Winderman, writing for the South Florida Sun Sentinel, spent the time to piece together the entire story from the string of 140-character tweets.

So grab your children, pull them in close and spend a few minutes reading to them. Here is Butler’s story:

Once upon a time there was a young boy named Da’Sean. Da’Sean was 22 years old and lived in Newark, NJ. While walking home from school one day, a Purple Dinosaur jumped out from behind a Brick Wall and tackled Da’Sean to the ground. But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, Da’Sean realized that the Purple Dinosaur was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, Da’Sean decided to keep the Purple Dinosaur as a pet. And on the way home he decided to name his pet Purple Dinosaur “Barney.”

When Da’Sean and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That’s right, it was Da’Sean’s mother, Koreena. And boy was she surprised to see a Purple Dinosaur following Da’Sean into the yard! “What in world is that?” shouted Koreena. “It’s a Purple Dinosaur,” answered Da’Sean. “Dah, I can see that, Da’Sean, but what on earth is it doing here?” said Koreena. “It’s my new pet!” answered Da’Sean. “Oh you think so do you?” remarked Koreena. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up. You know how your father hates Purple Dinosaurs. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.” And with that Da’Sean grabbed Barney by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house-even though he knew his father was probably going to disapprove.

Once in the house, Da’Sean and Barney played and played, that is until Da’Sean’s favorite television show, “Family Guy,” started. At that point Da’Sean forgot all about Barney having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through “Family Guy,” when Da’Sean was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, “OMG!! Da’Sean! Get your whoopie cakes in the Kitchen…NOW!!” With that Da’Sean rushed into the Kitchen to see what all the fuss was about. When he entered the Kitchen, there stood his father, Da’Sean Butler, pointing toward the Table. “Will someone please explain that?” asked his father. Then, as Da’Sean followed his father’s finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the Table, the biggest pile of Dinosaur doo-doo he had ever seen! “I don’t EVEN want to know how that got there,” said Da’Sean Butler. “But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!”

Well, knowing his father as well as he did, Da’Sean knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep Barney for a pet. So without hesitation, Da’Sean set out to find where Barney was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, Da’Sean discovered Barney crouched beneath the table that Da’Sean did his Playing X-Box and reading books.
“Come on, Barney, it’s time to find you a new home. And hey, don’t look at me that way, I’m not the one who did the dirty deed on the Table!” scolded Da’Sean. “Thanks to you I’ll never get to have my own pet Dinosaur!! And with that Da’Sean led Barney out of the house and down to the local Game Stop. They had a pet section and Da’Sean knew the owner would find Barney a good home. Da’Sean cried a deep cry. He had lost his only friend in the world.

So after saying good-bye to Barney, and thanking the owner of Game Stop, Da’Sean walked backed home and attempted to drowned his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen Root Beers. But Da’Sean’s pity party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up. And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, Da’Sean suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.

The End.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you best friends can get your “whoopee cakes” n a lot of trouble be sure to listen to your parents they know what’s best.

No purple dinosaurs were harmed in the making of this story. Sadly.

Cavaliers’ defense foundation for blowout win

CLEVELAND, OH - MAY 25: LeBron James #23 of the Cleveland Cavaliers gestures in the second half against the Toronto Raptors in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2016 NBA Playoffs at Quicken Loans Arena on May 25, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
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Cleveland blitzed Toronto from the opening tip.

Literally.

Cleveland cranked up their defensive pressure by getting back to aggressively blitzing Raptors’ guards Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan every time they came off a pick. Or they would chase DeRozan over the top of the pick and trail him, never letting him get comfortable to pull up from the midrange. Whatever the defensive scheme, the Cavaliers were physical with Lowry and DeRozan — the pair was 4-of-14 shooting in the first half.

From the start, the Cavaliers defense dictated the flow of the game and set the tone for a 38-point blowout win.

It is that defense they will need to close out this series on the road Friday night.

“We understood that coming back from Game 3 and Game 4 we just didn’t play our defense the right way,” LeBron James said after the game. “We didn’t play how we should have played, and they took advantage of every moment. We had to get back to our staple; we had to get back to what we wanted to do defensively in order for us to play a complete game. That’s the most satisfying thing, the way we defended, holding these guys to 39 percent shooting.”

Defense triggered the offensive runs by the Cavaliers in the first half — Cleveland had eight steals and scored 20 points off turnovers before halftime. Playing with a renewed energy, the Cavs did a fantastic job fighting over screens and disrupting plays, and they closed out on shooters at the arc. It was their best defensive game of the series. It was the polar opposite of how they played in Toronto.

“I think our intensity picked up, our aggressiveness picked up, we were very physical to start the game and it just kind of led to us getting out in transition, us getting steals and getting easy baskets,” Cavaliers coach Tyronn Lue said.

“They were locked in, from the start to the finish,” according to Raptors coach Dwane Casey.”The force that they play with is different here and we didn’t meet it.”

Back home and with their backs against the wall, you can expect a very different, very desperate Raptors team. Lowry and DeRozan will shoot better.

But if the Cavaliers pack their defense and take it north of the border this time, they should close out the series.

LeBron James was dunking all over the Raptors (VIDEO)

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With their defense creating turnovers to get breaks — and the Raptors’ defense just breaking down — the Cavaliers put on a dunking exhibition against Toronto Wednesday.

LeBron James led the way, with 23 points and plenty of dunks. Here is another.

To change things up, here is an and-1.

Cavaliers retake series lead at home with rout of Raptors

CLEVELAND, OH - MAY 25:  LeBron James #23 of the Cleveland Cavaliers drives to the basket in the second quarter against the Toronto Raptors in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2016 NBA Playoffs at Quicken Loans Arena on May 25, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
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The Eastern Conference Finals have been all about the comforts of home. Through five games between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Toronto Raptors, the home team has come out on top convincingly every time. Wednesday’s Game 5 was no different, with the Cavs destroying the Raptors, 116-78 to take a 3-2 series lead.

After a pair of awful games in Toronto, Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving stepped up at home to score 25 and 23 points, respectively, to go along with 23 from LeBron James. The big production from their stars was enough to keep the Raptors at bay — the only other Cavs player to score in double figures was Richard Jefferson, who had 11 points, but it didn’t matter.

On the other side, after coming up huge at home in Games 3 and 4, Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan combined to shoot 7-for-20 from the field Wednesday, and nobody else did much to pick up the slack. After not trailing by 30 at a half at any point this season, Toronto trailed by 31 at halftime, and the lead ballooned to 100-60 at the end of the third quarter. From the beginning, this game was one-sided.

The Cavs can close out the series on the road on Friday, ensuring James’ sixth straight trip to the Finals. But the Raptors have been a different team at home during this series, and in a do-or-die situation they should come out with more fight. It’s hard to imagine things going much worse than they did Wednesday.

Report: Joakim Noah having “positive dialogue” with Bulls about future

Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah dunks the ball during the first half of an NBA basketball game against the Detroit Pistons, Friday, Dec. 18, 2015, in Chicago. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)
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And the spin keeps on happening.

First came the report that Joakim Noah was telling teammates he was out of Chicago. Followed by Noah’s agent — the person charged with keeping Noah’s options open — saying that was not true.

Now comes team management — the people who said they want to keep Noah with the Bulls — saying the sides are still talking, and they want him to stay. Via Nick Friedell of ESPN:

Veteran Bulls center Joakim Noah, his representatives and the Chicago front office continue to have a “positive dialogue” about a new contract amid a report that Noah has been telling teammates he’s ready to leave the franchise, a league source told ESPN.com on Wednesday.

Those close to Noah, who is set to become an unrestricted free agent this summer, are still hopeful that he will be able to work out an agreement to stay in Chicago long term.

I’m going to let you in on a real insider bit of knowledge on what team Noah will play for next season:

Whatever team pays him the most money.

I know, it’s crazy, but sometimes people make a decision about where to work based on pay. Right now, everything is posturing. Come July 1, money will go on the table, and then Noah will know just how badly the Bulls want to keep him vs. other teams wanting to bring him in. Once the money is out there, if things are roughly even, then minutes and role on the team, lifestyle, weather and all the rest come into play.

But Puffy had it right — it’s all about the Benjamins.