Shaquille O'Neal's latest delusion involves the Celtics

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Helpful tip for NBA free-agents. If you’re looking at possible teams to join? Try looking at their roster first. If they happen to employ someone who plays your position and plays at well, for more money and is younger? They’re probably not interested. If they employ two, halve that percentage they’re into you.

Shaquille O’Neal thinks that tip is dumb.

NBA FanHouse’s Tim Povtak reports that Shaq is lobbying the Celtics to sign him for the veteran minimum so he can join the Eastern Conference champs. I’m going to do this bullet points because it makes my head hurt and it’s simpler this way.

  • The Celtics signed Jermaine O’Neal this summer to the MLE.
  • The Celtics still have an injured but coming back Kendrick Perkins on roster. 
  • Shaq is older than most of the remaining fossil fuels on the earth.
  • Notice how all of the rumors about Shaq joining teams are coming from Shaq’s camp.
  • This move would only further seek to resuscitate the Kobe-Shaq feud which is dead in the cold, cold ground.

Shaq can still play. He can. He can rebound, He’s still got more touch around the basket than Dwight Howard, plays defense in the post, can pass, has some quickness, and has all the veteran tricks.

He’s also a monstrous liability in pick and roll defense, can’t extend out to mid-range, is still out of shape, is very old in NBA years, and has been known to be a locker room problem because of the size of his ego.

So there are pluses and minuses.

Perkins is facing a hard come back and the Celtics do need frontcourt help, especially to battle Dwight Howard and Miami’s triple threat.

But Shaq is 38 years old, will still want a starting spot, and we’ve yet to hear any indication that the Celtics are interested in going in this direction. The Celtics taking on a player who isn’t versatile in their help defensive sets doesn’t seem very likely.  This isn’t Penny Hardaway being discussed for the Heat, but you can see it from here.

Report: Celtics sign Gerald Green to one-year deal

CHARLOTTE, NC - APRIL 25:  Gerald Green #14 of the Miami Heat reacts after a play against the Charlotte Hornets during game four of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals of the 2016 NBA Playoffs at Time Warner Cable Arena on April 25, 2016 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
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While the rampant speculation continues about whether the Celtics may or may not trade for a superstar, Danny Ainge is filling out his roster with veterans. Sean Deveney of the Sporting News reports that they’ve agreed to a one-year minimum deal with guard Gerald Green:

Green was originally drafted by the Celtics in 2005 at No. 18 overall, and after bouncing around different teams and overseas in the first few years of his career, he’s carved out a nice niche for himself in the NBA as a scoring guard off the bench. He played 69 games for the Heat last season after two solid years in Phoenix.

WATCH: LeBron James, Stephen Curry lead NBA’s top 100 plays of 2015-16 season

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The NBA has unveiled its top 100 plays of the 2015-16 season, and there’s no mystery as to what were the top two.

No. 2: Stephen Curry‘s halfcourt buzzer-beater in overtime against the Thunder in Oklahoma City during the season.

No. 1: “The Block” by LeBron James on Andre Iguodala in the final stretch of Game 7 of the Finals.

There’s plenty more, too, and if you have 25 minutes to kill, you can and should watch all of them above.

Report: Celtics re-sign Tyler Zeller for two years, $16 million

ATLANTA, GA - APRIL 19:  Kyle Korver #26 of the Atlanta Hawks grabs a rebound against Tyler Zeller #44 of the Boston Celtics in Game Two of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals during the 2016 NBA Playoffs at Philips Arena on April 19, 2016 in Atlanta, Georgia.  NOTE TO USER User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
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Tyler Zeller is one of the few restricted free agents left on the market who could make an actual impact next season, and on Saturday morning, he’s come off the board. Steve Bulpett of the Boston Herald reports that the fourth-year big man has agreed to a deal to stay with the Celtics. It’s for two years and $16 million, with the second season being a team option.

Zeller isn’t a starter, but he’s a nice rotation big man, especially at that price. He can play minutes off the bench for Boston, and his contract is also very movable with the second season being unguaranteed. He played just 11.8 minutes per game last season, but averaged 18.5 points and 9 rebounds per 36 minutes.

Watch Charles Barkley struggle to pronounce “Jonas Valanciunas” last season

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The Toronto Raptors were good last season, second best team in the East. That means the guys on Inside the NBA on TNT had to talk about them.

Which means Charles Barkley had to say “Jonas Valanciunas” a lot. Which is high comedy. While a lot of people struggle to say his name the guy is a solid NBA center who, with a little practice, you can say (and spell) his name pretty easily.

This comes from a YouTube user, via Reddit, with a hat tip to Eye on Basketball.