NBA finals Lakers Celtics Game 1: Your pre-emptive hyperbolic headlines

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So here we are. It’s go time. Time for the dance. Ready to rumble. A June for all the marbles (until November, at which point it starts all over again, especially if your team loses in which case you will disavow this season behind an excuse). It’s the NBA finals! And it’s Lakers-Celtics! OMG!

So before we get this here party started, we thought we’d go ahead and map out a few scenarios that will be leading tomorrow’s headlines. We’re not precognitive, we’re just precious.

: You realize if Pierce gets fouled hard tonight and goes down for a heartbeat he’s going to get it from Staples as bad as if he mistakenly called Prada Gucci. (Those brands ares still relevant, Lakers fans, yes?) After 2008’s wheelchair thing, Lakers fans can’t help but bring it up every fourteen seconds. The phrase “Pierce’s wheelchair” gets used more in Staples than “So is that a touchdown?” from the lower bowl attendees. If Pierce gets hurt and comes back, the roar of disdain will cause The Big One. And I’m not referring to a Glen Davis bowel movement.

“KOBE BRYANT IS A BAD MAN”: Here’s what’s great about Bryant. He can miss five consecutive shots in the final minute of a game, allowing a 10-0 run from the Celtics which ties it, then knock down an off-balance, fadeaway, poor-look three completely outside of the context of the actually drawn up play and will hear nothing but adulation. Bryant is untouchable as long as he hits that last one, and he can hit it with all the restrictions mentioned, with a blind fold with one leg behind his back while singing “Hakuna Matata.” Sports writers love easy storylines and “KOBE BRYANT IS AWESOME’ is a remarkably easy one.

“LAKERS ZONED OUT”: There’s almost no chance that the C’s opt to implement a zone. It’s risky, hard to execute, and weak against NBA players. That said, wouldn’t it be interesting if Doc Rivers whipped it out in the third quarter (the zone, I mean, you sicko)? To bring back nightmares of the Suns series, only with better defenders. Truth be told, the Celtics already play a version of it with man-help, where the interior defenders constantly shift to shut down the lanes while the perimeter defenders apply ball pressure. A few more cemented zones wouldn’t be the most outlandish thing in the world, and the headlines would be fantastic, if by fantastic you mean horribly cliche.

“PAU-PAU-PAU-ER WHEELS TAKE GAME 1”: Yes, that’s two ‘wheels’ jokes. What can I say, sportswriters have a thing for circles. Pau Gasol is probably due for a standout game that leaves you breathless and while Kevin Garnett is a man’s man, Pau Gasol is.. well, a Spaniard’s seven foot tall All-Star with incredible range and touch and terrible facial hair. Gasol taking over Game 1 would lead into a perfect angle of the “costar” stepping up for the “lead star” Kobe Bryant.

Also, be prepared for the following.

  • Statements from the losing side regarding the free throw discrepancy and/or crucial foul calls late in the game, even if their team was down 10.
  • Immediate columns about how the team that lost is in “trouble” despite it being only a singular game, and a million references to the odds of winning the finals if you win the first game.
  • Columns blasting the showboat behavior of a star player/defending the showboat behavior of a star player.
  • Numerous internet pieces on the movie stars in attendance and their wardrobe.
  • Randy Newman.

Enjoy Game 1 everyone! Be sure to come back later for our livechat at 9EST!

Howard, Millsap, Hardaway lead Hawks past Wizards 114-99

ATLANTA, GA - OCTOBER 27:  Paul Millsap #4 of the Atlanta Hawks shoots against Andrew Nicholson #44 of the Washington Wizards at Philips Arena on October 27, 2016 in Atlanta, Georgia.  NOTE TO USER User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
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ATLANTA (AP) Dwight Howard dominated the boards in his Atlanta debut, Paul Millsap scored 28 points and Tim Hardaway Jr. ignited the new-look Hawks to a 114-99 victory over the Washington Wizards in their season opener Thursday night.

Howard grabbed 19 rebounds to go along with 11 points, just what the Hawks expected from their new center, and it certainly wasn’t unusual for three-time All-Star Millsap to lead the way in scoring.

But Hardaway’s performance was totally unexpected given the way he struggled in his first season with the Hawks, when he was largely confined to the bench and even forced to spend time in the D-League.

He scored 21 points, matching his high in an Atlanta uniform, and broke open a close game with back-to-back 3-pointers in the fourth. The Hawks, who led only 81-80 heading to the final period, outscored the Wizards 33-19 over the final 12 minutes.

Markieff Morris led Washington with 22 points, but it was a tough night for the Wizards’ dynamic backcourt duo. John Wall finished with only 12 points on 3-of-15 shooting, while Bradley Beal was held to 13.

Hardaway, on the other hand, scored 12 points in the final period, breaking open a game that was close through the first three quarters.


Wizards: Marcin Gortat had 11 rebounds but didn’t have much help. Washington was outrebounded 52-40. … Otto Porter was the only other Washington player in double figures with 10 points. … The Wizards locked arms during the national anthem.

Hawks: Howard posted the most rebounds for anyone in their Atlanta debut, breaking the mark of 18 that Shareef Abdur-Rahim set at Houston on Oct. 30, 2001. … Dennis Schroder, taking over as the starting point guard after the trade of Jeff Teague, had 14 points but only two assists.

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Report: Kevin Garnett in talks with Cavaliers, other teams about coaching consultant role

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If you’re wondering what Kevin Garnett is going to do now that he’s retired, turns out sitting on the couch with a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and watching Judge Judy is not the answer.

He seems headed to the TNT studio show, and may be consulting with some teams — including the NBA champion Cleveland Cavaliers. So reports Adrian Wojnarowski of The Vertical at Yahoo Sports.

There are a lot of teams that could use KG as a consultant, I would expect the Timberwolves are part of that mix as well. He’s going to have the respect and ear of players for teams trying to get a message across to a young squad.

Garnett isn’t doing this for the money, he can pick-and-choose where he feels comfortable and needed.

Watch Dwyane Wade hit dagger three to lift Bulls past Celtics


What spacing problems?

Dwyane Wade, Jimmy Butler, and Rajon Rondo combined to shoot 9-of-14 from three in the Bulls season opener at home Thursday night. As a team, the Bulls shot 44 percent from three.

That included Dwyane Wade’s dagger three with a hand in his face to seal the 105-99 win.

The Bulls are not going to shoot like this every night, but they looked good on Thursday.



76ers players may respond in wake of national anthem flap

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - AUGUST 01:  Actress Sevyn Streeter speaks onstage during the 'Ringside' panel discussion at the TV One portion of the 2016 Television Critics Association Summer Tour at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on August 1, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California.  (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — The Philadelphia 76ers held a team meeting Thursday and may take action in the wake of the organization’s decision to cancel the national anthem performance by a singer wearing a “We Matter” jersey.

Sevyn Streeter said she was told by the team she could not perform the anthem before Wednesday night’s season opener because of the slogan.

The Sixers players met at their practice facility in Camden, New Jersey, and are considering whether to respond to Streeter’s cancellation.

“Everybody expressed their emotions about it,” forward Robert Covington said. “We want to take steps about it. We just don’t know exactly what steps we want to take. We talked about a lot of different things.”

The Sixers play at home Saturday afternoon against Atlanta.

Streeter said in an interview with The Associated Press late Wednesday she was told she would not sing just minutes before her performance.

“I’d say two minutes before we were about to walk out … the organization told me that I could not wear my shirt while singing the national anthem at their game,” the R&B singer said by phone. “I was never given any kind of dress code. I was never asked beforehand to show my wardrobe.”

The Sixers declined to say why Streeter’s performance was canceled.

“The Philadelphia 76ers organization encourages meaningful actions to drive social change. We use our games to bring people together, to build trust and to strengthen our communities. As we move from symbolic gestures to action, we will continue to leverage our platform to positively impact our community,” the Sixers said in a statement.

The Sixers had a member of their dance team sing the anthem.

Sixers management declined comment on Thursday.

Coach Brett Brown said there are several options on the table.

“We understand the situation and we respect the social issue involved,” Brown said Thursday. “We completely get it. As a group, we will try to find a way to deal with this.”

Streeter has written songs for Chris Brown, Ariana Grande and other stars. In 2013, she had a Top 40 hit with “It Won’t Stop,” a duet with Brown that reached RIAA gold status.

The singer, born Amber Denise Streeter, said she was hurt by the NBA team’s actions.

“I was angry, extremely, extremely angry and disappointed and honestly brought to tears by all of it. It broke my heart,” she said. “Honestly, I was very excited about being able to perform the national anthem. I was really looking forward to that.”

This isn’t the first time the Sixers were brought into a national anthem controversy. A woman performing the national anthem before the team played a preseason game in Miami did so while kneeling at midcourt.

Denasia Lawrence opened her jacket just before she started to sing, revealing a “Black Lives Matter” shirt, then dropped to her left knee and performed the song. She said it was her way of protesting racial oppression.

The anthem issue has been a major topic in sports in recent months, starting with the decision by San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick to not stand while it is played. Kaepernick cited racial injustice and police brutality among the reasons for his protest, and athletes from many sports – and many levels, from youth all the way to professional – have followed his lead in various ways.

“I also felt it was important to express the ongoing challenges and ongoing injustice we face as a black community within the United States of America – that’s very important to me,” Streeter said. “Yes, we live in the greatest country in the world but there are issues that we cannot ignore. This can’t be ignored.”