Kenyon Martin is not amused by your tomfoolery

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Kenyon Martin has always struck me as a man who takes himself entirely too seriously. His career is marked by tough guy posturing in every conceivable form, to the point where Martin is at times a caricature of himself. I just want someone to grab K-Mart by both shoulders, look deep into his eyes, and tell him in a comforting yet aggressive tone: “You are the guy with a tattoo of lips on your neck.”

Hopefully that would be that. Martin would chill out a little bit, learn to laugh at himself, and not launch into an obscenity-laced tirade when the victim of a prank on April Fool’s Day.

According to ESPN’s Chris Broussard, a former Denver ball boy played a practical joke on Martin for April Fool’s by filling up Kenyon’s car with popcorn. No points for originality, as popcarn is just about the oldest gag in the book. Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk, your car is full of a delicious edible treat.

Any other instance and that’s the end of the story, or maybe Martin retaliates with a prank of his own. Only in this case, the car in question is Martin’s Range Rover with white interior, and the popcorn in question is excessively buttered. That makes an innocent prank an expensive innocent prank, and it makes an already humorless Martin even more humorless.

Broussard calls the event a “distraction” and cites a Nuggets source that says the prank went “horribly wrong.” This all seems like much ado over popcorn, even if some car interior was sacrificed in the process. The instigator apologized to Martin and offered to pay for any damages, so the impact of this horrendous offense to human sensibility is…what exactly? Martin going a little crazy on his teammates for something they didn’t even do?

That’s not a problem, it’s a symptom. Really, that’s all this incident is: evidence of frustration for Martin and probably for the Nuggets as well. That’s what happens when a key player has missed significant time due to injury, and the team as a whole is starting to feel the heat of the impending postseason.

Report: ‘Tremendous concern’ for Jeremy Lin’s knee injury

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The Nets’ projected record this season came under greater scrutiny when the Celtics traded Brooklyn’s unprotected first-round pick to the Cavaliers in the Kyrie Irving trade. After finishing third-to-last and last the previous two years, were the Nets poised to take a step forward, or would they convey a very high pick to the Cavs?

Jeremy Lin, who missed 46 games last season, getting healthy was a reason for optimism in Brooklyn and pessimism in Cleveland. But it appears the veteran guard could be out a while.

Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN:

Billy Reinhardt of Nets Daily:

If the injury is as bad as feared, what a bummer for Lin. He came to Brooklyn expecting to play a leading role on a developing team, and he just can’t stay healthy.

The Nets were probably more focused on developing their younger players, but – especially without their own draft picks – there was no harm in shooting for the playoffs. This appears to a blow to that (already unlikely) dream.

It’s a boon to the Cavaliers, though. And whenever something significantly affects LeBron James‘ team, it has ramifications into the entire power dynamic of the Eastern Conference. For an injury to a player on a team most expect to be bad, the medical developments here will be tracked closely around the league.

Aaron Gordon throws himself alley-oop off backboard (video)

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Remember when Aaron Gordon was a promising fun player?

The Magic sidetracked him by playing him at small forward most of last season. But back at power forward, Gordon showed how he could push the pace as a four in Orlando’s season-opening win over the Heat.

There’s obviously flair in passing to yourself off the backboard, but it’s a sound way to improve position. Gordon did that to fantastic effect.

PBT Extra: Three things to watch with Boston in wake of Hayward injury

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Gordon Hayward is going to have surgery on his ankle and leg, which should not be a surprise to anyone who saw the gruesome injury to his leg just 5:15 into his Celtics career. There is no timetable for his return yet, maybe he makes it back for the playoffs, but the Celtics are not going to rush him and he may well miss the entire season.

What next for Boston?

In this PBT Extra I cover the three things to watch for from Boston, which in the short term could mean the Kyrie Irving show. Longer term, not much changes.

Gordon Hayward addresses Celtics and fans from hospital bed (video)

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Gordon Hayward broke his leg early in his Celtics debut – a devastating injury. He’s preparing for surgery tonight, per Jeff Goodman of ESPN:

First – after a perfect introduction from Marcus Smart – Hayward addressed the Boston crowd from his hospital bed before tonight’s game against the Bucks.

Hayward:

What’s up everybody? Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has sent me your thoughts and prayers. I’m going to be alright. It’s hurting me that I can’t be there for the home opener. I want nothing more just to be with my teammates and walk out onto that floor tonight. But I’ll be supporting you guys from here and wishing you the best of luck. Kill it tonight. Thanks, guys.

At least this nice moment (and an outpouring of support) came out of such a gruesome injury.

And if Smart keeps setting up his teammates so well, maybe the Celtics’ offense will keep humming.