Trade Deadline: DEFCON Atlantic Division

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A quick look at the league, division by division, at where all the teams in the NBA are as the trade deadline hits zero hour. DEFCON indicates how close they are to a major move, with 5 means standing pat and 1 means already have a deal in place. Here’s the Atlantic Division.

Boston Celtics:
Why They’ll Make A Move: Because they’re old, and very old, and tend to look old. They need a difference maker off the bench to make up for whichever of the Big 3 is having a bad night.

Why They Won’t: Because they’re prideful and obsessed with the title they won two years standing as cred.

Verdict: Appear to be finalizing a deal for Nate Robinson, so, yeah.

DEFCON: 1

More after the jump.



Toronto Raptors:
Why
They’ll Make A Move:
Either to keep Chris Bosh by adding a major
component, or to go ahead and cash in on the fact that they’re losing
Bosh anyway and need to get what they can instead of just watching him
walk, albeit regretfully, away.

Why They Won’t: The
movable player have unmovable contracts, and the movable contracts are
for unmovable players. They poured money into this incarnation, and for
better or worse, they’re stuck with it.

Verdict: Don’t
count on it, this team’s hot at the right time, and no one’s putting a
massive trade together for Bosh when he’s a free agent in five months.

DEFCON:
4

Philadelphia 76ers:
Why
They’ll Make A Move:
Because it’s apparent that the core they
assembled has fallen off  a cliff and it’s time to cut bait and head
home. Throw in the value Andre Iguodala as a player has and Samuel
Dalembert as an expiring contract has, and those are good reasons to
blow it up.

Why They Won’t: No team is going to respond to
the idea of getting Iguodala with the same zeal the Sixers had to the
idea of signing him to a massive contract. Their only suitors have moved
on to talking to each other (Suns, Cavs).

Verdict:
Looking like this one’s pretty much over. Get excited, Sixers fans! All
two of you!

DEFCON: 3

New York Knicks:
Why They’ll Make A Move:
Because if you told Donnie Walsh he could say $10 this summer by
gnawing off his own arm, he’d ask you to pour A1 sauce on his bicep.
They no longer have any reason to hold the scraps they put together for
this year in place, and they have willing suitors with expiring
contracts.

Why They Won’t: Because their players are
terrible for the most part and they’re trying to wring water out of
rocks at this point.

Verdict: Already apparently dished
Robinson for House, and are considered the frontrunners for Tracy
McGrady.

DEFCON: 1

New
Jersey Nets:

Why They’ll Make A Move: Because
they’re so terrible, they’d be willing to move any player whose name
doesn’t rhyme with ‘Cook Snow Pez. ‘

Why They Won’t:
Because they’re so terrible, no one will trade for any player whose name
doesn’t rhyme with ‘Look Low-Res.’

Verdict: You know how
the people down the street with terrible taste and shag carpeting hold
the garage sale, and on Sunday it looks like no one’s bought anything
since Friday? Josh Boone is that shag carpeting.

DEFCON: 5

Elfrid Payton slams chasedown block on LeBron James (VIDEO)

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LeBron James is usually the guy handing out chasedown blocks. He’s famous for them, and has carted out his signature move in the biggest moments of his career.

He’s also not used to having his own shots blocked from behind, and certainly not by opposing point guards.

Enter Elfrid Payton.

During a play halfway through the first quarter against the Orlando Magic on Thursday, LeBron was on a drive to the hole with Elfrid trailing far behind.

Thanks to a pinch by two Magic defenders, LeBron had to try and use brute force a bit deeper in the paint than he wanted to.

That allowed Payton — running at full speed — to catch up and pin The King on the glass.

Cleveland still got the best of the Magic, as Isaiah Thomas hit a clutch free throw to win the game with 11 seconds left, 104-103.

All-Star Joel Embiid doesn’t need Rihanna: “On to the next one”

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For about as long as we can remember, Joel Embiid has famously thirsted after Rihanna on Twitter. Fans have tried to boost his standing with the singer, but it apparently that has not been enough.

In 2014, Embiid mentioned on social media that a “famous girl” — presumably Rihanna — told him to “Come back when you’re an All-Star.”

Well, today is that day.

Embiid is a starter out of the Eastern Conference, and on Thursday night he had his chance to speak to Rihanna (or whomever) via national TV on TNT.

Did Embiid decide to reach out to this famous person? Apparently he’s off it.

Via Twitter:

This is like that scene from Private Parts when Howard Stern hits No. 1 and he tells Paul Giamatti’s character to get lost.

Embiid had the chance to curve Rihanna (or whomever) and took it. Long live The Process.

Here are the weirdest NBA All-Star voting results for 2018

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NBA All-Star voting is over, and now we have the results. The starters are in, and what’s left is for us to wait until they announce the teams after they are picked in double secret ceremony.

Of course, the NBA did release the full voting results via their PR website this week, and as such there are some head scratchers. My boy Patrick Redford over at Deadspin did an excellent job rounding up some of the players who got exactly one (1) vote from other players.

The gag here is that these guys presumably voted for themselves.

Of course, what I found most interesting was actually the guys who got multiple votes from their compatriots without being All-Star caliber players.

My favorite list of player-voted non-All-Stars includes: Michael Beasley (4), Gordon Hayward (2), Boban Marjanovic (2), Jahlil Okafor (4), Quincy Acy (2), Tyler Zeller (4), T.J. McConnell (2), Elfrid Payton (2), Zaza Pachulia (3), Taj Gibson (6), Zach Randolph (5), Maurice Harkless (2), Deyonta Davis (3), Lonzo Ball (9), Mike Conley (3).

There’s a whole smattering of guys in there who either didn’t play enough, aren’t stars, are injured, or who aren’t very good.

That multiple players took time to vote for these guys really speaks to the frivolity of the NBA All-Star Game. At least outside of player contract incentives.

Bring on February!

LeBron James throws behind-the-back, nutmeg pass for assist (VIDEO)

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LeBron James is one of the best passers the NBA has ever seen, but even this is too hard to believe.

During Thursday’s game between the Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers, LeBron through a ridiculous behind-the-back pass that nutmegged Orlando’s Aaron Gordon.

The result of the play was a bucket for Dwyane Wade.

Via Twitter:

I mean, that’s just … insane.